Today is a very sad day for Marry Me Ink & Swamps.. Today is the final instalment of Swamps’ posts until she gets married.. There will be tears shed here, be warned! This final edition of Swamps’ posts features all of her & Matt B’s trials & tribulations of planning, and coming into the final weeks and days of their big day.
“Trials and Tribulations Of Your Big Day”
Hello you lovely lot. I hope you are all super duper. I feel like I have not spoken to you all for an ETERNITY! We have been very very busy. There has been lots of organising, making, rethinking and wait for it….stress! I would like to point out at this point that attempting to sell your house and buy a new one, all with 8 weeks to go until you wedding is 100% categorically a terrible idea. PLEASE if you take away zero pieces of information from my blog, make an exception for this one. However, I would recommend buying yourself a cute puppy to counter balance your stress levels, works a treat.
Meet Bettë. She’s currently 4 weeks old, about 10cms long and should be in prison for being illegal amounts of cute. Buying cute things really helps, trust me. We pick her up the day after our honeymoon too so we have something to look forward to when all of the build up to THE BIGGEST DAY OF OUR LIVES is over! Eeeeep.
In all of our stress we have also had moments of excitement, fear and anticipation, this is the theme that really sponsors the final run up to your big day. All I can really say is that you can’t really help the way that you feel, and you just need to do what you can do to manage this whirlwind of emotions. When you’re feeling high (not literally high; I would never encourage that, emotionally high of course) go forth, Star Trek style, find your husband or bride to be, and talk. Share your emotions and your excitement with each other, its all part of the experience. In a couple of hours you may be pulling your hair out because your wedding transports engine just blew up. Seriously, ‘these things happen’ and trust me, they fully do, and d’you know what- who cares? Book a taxi, I am going to! These little touches that you have probably spent months perfecting may actually fall apart before the big day but don’t sweat it, just sort it.
I was a bit stuck for what to write this month’s blog about, so with a little help from Rachael I’ve opted for a little bit of everything and it perfectly reflects what the run up is actually like. So point number 1. Write a list. For anyone who knows me in real life, not just in blog life, you will know that I am anally organised. I have an excel spread sheet for everything. Yes I really am THAT boring. If you aren’t stupidly organised then you need to learn! It is pivotal to not killing your future spouse in the lead up to the wedding, and they are REALLY integral to your wedding, so you don’t want to do that. A few months before, everything is done one thing at a time, no need to worry about a thing. Wait until 6 weeks before; you’ll have to do 18 things at once. You need to know who you need to see, pay and call all at the drop of a hat. Without organisation on your wedding day you may well never make it, and if you do, you’ll probs be bald from actual stress.
Next on the agenda, make sure you have your rings sorted. I would recommend doing this maybe 4 months before the big day. You don’t want to do it too soon, because you may just change your mind, I did. had a right big mental dilemma about my ring sitch. My first issue was my engagement ring. I adore my engagement ring, most of all because it belonged to Matt’s Nan. The first issue I had was that I couldn’t find a ring that I liked that would sit next to it nicely. I thought loooooong and hard about what to do, and in the end I decided that I would wear my engagement ring on my other hand. This is a bit of a controversial decision but lets face it, its only a finger. It means the same thing what ever hand I wear it on. Then once id worried for a few weeks whether or not this was disrespectful I finally decided that Matt’s Nan would forgive me, hopefully, and then I brought the ring that I had my eye on..
This was also a dilemma. It wasn’t gold, it was sterling silver. It was going to dull over time, but I loved it. I decided to buy it anyway. I first saw it when a lady called Holly (@alittlestranger) I followed on Instagram made one for herself, and then I asked if she would mind making me one. I called it my anti wedding ring. It was £65, and it wasn’t at all conventional. It was more like a statement ring. I knew I would have to buy a more practical ring at some point, which inevitably wouldn’t be the ring I actually got married with. However, after much discussion with Matt Bee we decided it would be silly to not buy something I really loved, and would be happy to wear everyday, and that when the time came, we could buy an eternity ring to replace it and I could keep this one and pass it on one day. THEN, I went to see my mum. She LOVED the ring, but told me a horror story about someone she worked with wearing a ‘sticky outty’ ring. The person in her story had caught her ring on something and then as she pulled her hand away it had skinned her whole finger and she had to have it removed. So, at this point I started to weigh up the prospect of not actually having a wedding ring finger at all….and then I saw this ring…
This one was PERFECT. It was a nice mix between a bit of ‘bling’, it was much closer to a ‘traditional’ wedding ring and most important of all it was a lot less ‘sticky outty’ and I am MUCH more confident that my finger will stay around to tell the tale. The moral of the wedding ring story is ‘stuff it’ get the ring that you want, not the one that you’re limited to buying so it stays shiny and fits with your engagement ring perfectly. It is just another wedding tradition that is in place that will dictate what you can and can’t do for YOUR wedding. I say we should make our own traditions. It’s your life after all so get what you want, when you want, and forget about other people and whether they may or may not approve of your decision. You’ve got to be happy with the choices that you make.
“You will find that when people find out that you are getting married you start being told what you can and can’t do a LOT.”
I don’t know about the rest of your but I have found this my number one gripe with being a bride to be. Don’t tell your friends about your dress. Don’t do this, don’t do that. It gets boring very quickly, trust me. I went to see Lauren, one of my lovely bridesmaids, a couple of weeks ago. We were out anyway so I took Matt Bee with me. As we were sat chatting away on the sofa I looked over at Lauren’s wedding picture of her in her dress and proclaimed “My dress isn’t dis-similar to yours with the big bow on the hip.” At this point our eyes widened as we realised Matt Bee was sat there and he replied “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that”. Im not even joking when I say to you I spent the next 2 days, almost crying at what an absolute Mongoose I am for accidentally divulging my secrets to my husband to be. How utterly ridiculous that I then started to worry about this so called bad luck. I am by no means implying that you should show your future husband your dress as this does take some of the WOW factor away, but if you wanted to, then do it! After my two days of panicking that now me and Matt Bee would end up getting divorced because of my stupidity of inducing bad luck, I realised actually, if we are being sensible here, bad luck is not going to break you up, if bad luck can even be influenced by these traditions at all. These traditions can kiss my bottom, because they really do dictate a lot of wedding related things. My friends have seen my wedding dress, mainly people who aren’t attending the actual wedding, but some of them are. If they have asked to see my dress then I have shown them, and others I have volunteered it. What difference does it really make; it makes me feel excited to share this build up with people NOW, not just save it all for one day. People say all of the time that they wished that they could do it all over again because it flew by in one day. I however, have shared more of my wedding than people conventionally would in the build up and I don’t regret it one bit. Traditions schamissions I say.
There are LOTS of decisions that you may make along the way that people don’t like. I think there is something about weddings that gives people the right to ‘get involved’ I guess. I made one very controversial decision. That was the decision that I wanted to wear a Vintage fox stole.
This is Basil… As you lot are more than aware I am animal mad, I LOVE them. I think we have had a total of maybe 4 new pets in the time I have been writing this blog. Some of your may be surprised to learn that I really love vintage fur. I have never brought any because I have always been too worried about people’s perception and I have worried about what happened to the poor animal when they met their maker. I searched long and hard for the ‘right’ fur. I found Basil when I saw him advertised on the internet. Before I decided to buy him I spoke to the lady who was selling him to find a little out about his past. She told me that he had once belonged to her mum and that for this reason they had kept hold of him for some time, but that they wanted him to go to a new home now. He was about 83 years old. I explained to her that I wanted to buy him for my wedding day and she was super excited to know he would be something a bit special and that her mum would have been really thrilled to know he would have been part of someone’s wedding day. By this point I felt quite attached to him so I brought him from her.
“I put the feelers out before I did buy him with my friends and people I know and feelings were understandably mixed.”
Some people said “That’s just horrible” but the majority of people confirmed that “It was my day, and if I was surrounded by only my friends and family that it would be as good a time as any.” He was vintage and it wasn’t like me owning him would affect the fact that he was already a fox stole. I wasn’t encouraging a current trend of killing animals for fashion. The reality of the situation was that in the 1930s wearing fur was trendy and it did happen so whether I brought him or not this wouldn’t change what had happened then. This, however, proved to be one controversial decision too far. It ended up causing a bit of a family feud and so I have decided not to wear him, I think. I guess I will make my final decision on the day. I certainly don’t want to upset anyone, especially on my wedding day. I do love him, and I will always keep him anyway, if not just to be respectful to the lady I brought him from. I guess you do have to be mindful of peoples opinions and as much as your day is ‘all about you’ it is also about sharing it with your friends and family, so to a degree you have to have take their feelings into consideration along the way too. I don’t feel the same about wearing him now as I did before, which is a bit of a shame, but I guess situations like this just come with the territory.
The last but not least thing ill talk to you lovelies about is my Hen Do. Choosing what to do for my hen do was actually pretty hard. Im not a big drinker you see. I peaked a little early in my drinking days: Once I drank every cocktail on the menu at 80’s bar ‘Reflex’, and then walked into a parking meter and cracked my head open, then woke up the following day with a sweat band wrapped so tightly around my wrist that my hand was a terrifying shade of purple, and basically the size of a large football; after this I finally put my hardcore drinking days behind me haha. Matt Bee also doesn’t drink so he has been a bit of a good or bad influence on me which ever way you look at it. I decided I would have two – One where people that didn’t want to spend quite so much money could come to, and another which was a bit more of a treat. The first one I planned was a meal. Initially it started a small civilised affair, but as we got closer to the numbers started creeping up and so did the ‘tack’ levels ha. In the end I had 30 people attending, I didn’t even realise I was THAT popular :] We had a lovely meal, and there was a bit of a dance floor for a boogie and there were willies EVERYWHERE.
I wasn’t up for this at all at first but then two weeks before I realised that if I didn’t have tack it would just feel like a normal meal, for a normal occasion. So I donned a gypsy-bride veil, and scattered willy-bunting, straws, sweets and balloons all over the room. It actually did make a difference too. It was really really fun and I would recommend a level of tack to absolutely all brides, with the absence of it you may feel just a little but disappointed.
I have also embarked on the compulsory Wedding Diet. I have lost a total of 1 stone and 4lbs. I must admit that when I have no clothes on (don’t worry I’m not about to share that with you) that I feel SO much better about myself. However, the one bit of information I will share with you, and I cannot believe that I am about to admit is BUT I actually preferred my dress when I was a bit curvier.
“Take from this what you will, and you will probably embark on the wedding diet too, but just remember curvy IS sexy!”
I have also finished my wedding hair extensions, I hand painted them with an actual paint brush. Not like a house decorating paint brush, and actual teeny weeny little paint brush. It has been pain staking. It has taken me 3 weeks to do, and I still want to do another pack just for maximum hair volume opportunities.
This is the finished product. I am really pleased with it. In fact, I enjoyed doing it so much that I am thinking about actually opening an Etsy shop and doing custom orders for people. So watch this space…
I have also, finally, after starting it 6 years ago finished my tattoo sleeve. Here is the finished product
[NB# Please ignore my horrendously messy dressing room, a girl cannot clean AND plan a wedding – final piece of advice: GET A CLEANER haha]
So I think that just about concludes my Pre-Wedding blogging experience. I sincerely hope that I have helped you make a few decisions along the way. This blog, however, is the most useful one of all. You may read someone of it and just think ‘that won’t happen to me’ but from my experience everything you get told about the wedding experience does happen. You could have a manual and it still fit every person in some way. The most important thing to remember is, enjoy the highs, ride out the lows and do what you want to do. You will only do it once (hopefully) It has been an absolute pleasure sharing my wedding stories with you along the way and I feel a bit sad that it will be over very soon.
-The next time that I speak to you all I will be a married woman. An actual WIFE. What the Jim?! Today I am feeling totally overwhelmed with emotion about the life that me and Matt Bee are about to embark on. Of course nothing with REALLY change, it’ll just be a new title, and surname for me. But I will go to sleep on the night of September 15th in the knowledge that I will be spending the rest of my life with the love of my life. We will be a Nana and Granddad together. I’ll butter the bread if he slices it first. We will be a team and I cannot wait!
I’m off to do a happy/excited/nervous cry now. Thank you so much to those of you who have shared the experience with me, and a massive thank you to Rach for giving me the opportunity to fill her blog space. It’s been emotional.
Peace out, The Future Mrs Bee <3
I think I’m now going to cry too, Marry Me Ink has LOVED every bit of sharing Swamps’ journey with you all! Please leave this lovely lady some major love as she embarks on such an amazing wedding weekend in a few weeks and we shall surely see her back after her big day, honeymoon and with new puppy Bettë.